Christ....in (christwise) wrote,
Christ....in
christwise

  • Location:
  • Mood:
  • Music:

Growing Up Black

Laurel says:
So... [Sirius and Regulus] get interrupted by a patronus or something? Y/N?
Laurel says:
And it's just from Remus, and when Sirius shows up, he's like--I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE ABOUT TO DO!
Laurel says:
LOL


Christin says:
hahaha
Christin says:
Remus: and you didn't invite me

Laurel says:
HOW FAR DID YOU GET?
Christin says:
TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT

Laurel says:
DID YOU EVEN BUY HIM FLOWERS FIRST?
Laurel says:
YOUR BROTHER IS VERY SENSITIVE!
Laurel says:
YOU COULD SCAR HIM FOR LIFE!
Christin says:
YOU NEED TO TREAT HIM RIGHT
Laurel says:
HERE I'LL SHOW YOU HOW, LET ME HELP YOU
Laurel says:
I CALL HIS FRONT, I WANNA WATCH HIS FACE. DO WHATEVER YOU WANT FROM BEHIND.

Christin says:
LOLING SO HARD
Christin says:
(that was me)

Laurel says:
I WANT TO KISS HIM AND SMELL HIM. WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT, HE'S VERY BEAUTIFUL.
Laurel says:
OF COURSE HE'S NOT CLASSICALLY, MOUTH-WATERINGLY GOOD-LOOKING LIKE YOU. BUT HE IS VERY PRETTY. AND HE SMELLS GOOD.
Laurel says:
DO YOU EVEN TALK DIRTY TO HIM? I BET YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER! YOU PROBABLY REALLY HURT HIS FEELINGS! HE THINKS YOU DON'T WANT HIM!
Laurel says:
AND YOU SHOULDN'T!
Christin says:
I SHOULD THOUGH. LET ME TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU.
Christin says:
YOU CAN WATCH IF YOU LIKE, I SUPPOSE.
Christin says:
TO LEARN HOW IT'S DONE

Laurel says:
HERE, HAVE BARTY, HE'S KINDA GOOD-LOOKING SOMETIMES I GUESS
Laurel says:
SHUT UP, HE'S THE RIGHT AGE, AND SLYTHERIN, AND NOT RELATED TO YOU! HE'LL DO JUST FINE!
Laurel says:
WHEN IS YOUR BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY? I WANT TO SEND HIM A COOKIE CAKE.
Christin says:
I SHALL PAINT HEARTS ALL OVER IT IN RED FROSTING, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW YOU SHOULD TREAT THE PERSON YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH
Laurel says:
NO RED FROSTING IS NOT ACTUALLY BAD FOR YOU! DO YOU THINK I'D EVER HURT YOUR BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BROTHER? I WILL TREAT HIM LIKE A DELICATE FLOWER!
Christin says:
YOU DO NOT ROLL OVER AND SAY "READY?" WHICH I DID NOT APPRECIATE BY THE WAY


Christin says:
Remus wouldn't actually know what they were up to
Laurel says:
he'd guess, with the wards
Laurel says:
and silencing charm
Christin says:
oh, if he's in the flat, yeah
Christin says:
sitting at home: I CAN SMELL YOU NOT REALLY CARING ABOUT HIM FROM MILES AWAY
Laurel says:
LMAO!

Christin says:
I HAVE PUT WARDS UP TO MAKE SURE HE IS PROTECTED AT ALL TIMES
Laurel says:
I was more thinking he comes over to see Sirius and can't get into the bedroom and Reg is missing and Barty is sulking
Christin says:
well he can't really do anything about that. They can't hear him outside and the door is locked.
Laurel says:
patronus
Christin says:
OF COURSE I WOULD RESCUE YOU. THAT IS WHAT I DO.
Laurel says:
I AM ALSO RESCUING YOU BROTHER'S VIRTUE!

Christin says:
I STOPPED YOU FROM FORNICATING WITH THAT LAD. IT'S MOST IMPROPER.
Laurel says:
WAIT--IT'S NOT TOO LATE, IS IT?!
Laurel says:
YOU SHOULD BE HOLDING HIM GENTLY AND APOLOGIZING!
Laurel says:
HERE, LET ME DO IT FOR YOU

Christin says:
HE IS A DELICATE DAMSEL
Christin says:
HE MUST BE TREATED JUST SO
Laurel says:
YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER, YOU ARE HIS ELDER

Christin says:
HERE, I HAVE JOTTED DOWN SOME NOTES FOR YOU
Christin says:
I THINK I SHALL PUBLISH A MANUAL
Christin says:
TO BE DISTRIBUTED BY THE MINISTRY
Laurel says:
HASTEN INTO YON ROOM, HE MAY NEED COUNSELING AND COMFORT
Laurel says:
MY MANUAL WILL BE HELPFUL TO ALL
Christin says:
THOUGH I MAY HAVE TO DELETE SOME CHAPTERS, THEY ONLY APPLY TO ME
Laurel says:
IT SHALL BE PUBLISHED IN FULL BOOK FORM WITH AN ABBREVIATED VERSION DISTRIBUTED AS FLIERS IN FOURTH YEAR
Christin says:
PERHAPS THEY SHALL OFFER CLASSES

Laurel says:
IT IS NOT MY FAULT I SUFFER FROM THE NIGHT TERRORS
Laurel says:
I HAVE A MEDICAL CONDITION
Laurel says:
I ASSURE YOU, I LOVE YOUR BROTHER GREATLY AND WOULD NEVER HARM HIM
Laurel says:
YES I KNOW YOU'RE THE ONE I'M SHAGGING BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT REGULUS
Laurel says:
HE SEEMS TROUBLED AND EMOTIONAL

Christin says:
I SHALL SEE TO SOOTHING HIM
Christin says:
IN A CHASTE MANNER OF COURSE, WE ARE GENTLEMEN

Laurel says:
YOU DO NOT FIND MY COCK SOOTHING???
Laurel says:
I ASSURE YOU I WOULD LUBE IT WELL

Christin says:
ANTI-BACTERIAL LUBE OF COURSE
Christin says:
HE'S NOT ALLERGIC TO LATEX IS HE?

Laurel says:
I FOUND THIS KY 'HIS AND HERS' PLEASURE PACK. I WONDER IF THEY MUST WORK TOGETHER AS A CATALYST OR IF THE 'FOR HIM' TUBE WOULD WORK WELL ALONE
Laurel says:
I KNOW LITTLE OF THIS BRAND, BUT THAT IT IS RENOWN AMONGST MUGGLES
Christin says:
THEY REALLY SHOULD MAKE HIS AND HIS, IT IS THE TWENTIETH CENTURY
Laurel says:
IT IS IMPORTANT TO BE OPEN-MINDED! WHAT SORT OF MESSAGE ARE THEY SENDING OUT?
Christin says:
REGULUS MIGHT GET UPSET IF HE FOUND OUT THAT HE IS DIFFERENT
Laurel says:
YES I AM SURE RIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE WOULD ALSO RESULT IN HIS PLEASURE!
Christin says:
BUT I SHALL TELL HIM THAT HE IS A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE TO BE LOVED AND CHERISHED
Christin says:
ESPECIALLY BY ME
Christin says:
AND MY COCK

Laurel says:
I WOULD NEVER MELT HIS SNOWFLAKE!
Christin says:
I WILL KEEP IT PROTECTED IN A VIAL IN THE FREEZER, HE IS VERY DELICATE DON'T YOU KNOW

Laurel says:
PERHAPS I SHOULD GET HIM A DOG WITH A SHIRT. IT'S SOMETHING MIKEY WAY WOULD DO.
Christin says:
IT'S ALSO A VERY GAY THING TO DO SO I THINK HE WOULD LIKE THAT
Christin says:
YOU SEE HOW I AM THINKING OF HIS NEEDS

Laurel says:
NO YOU CANNOT BE HIS DOG! I TRUST YOU NOT TO AVOID BESTIALITY DESPITE YOUR PRIOR PROTESTS!
Laurel says:
PERHAPS HE WOULD LIKE TO WEAR THE LITTLE SHIRT
Laurel says:
I WOULD NOT JUDGE HIM
Laurel says:
HE HAS VERY HANDSOME ABS, TO BE SURE
Christin says:
I KNOW THAT ALL DOGS PUT THEIR FACES IN PEOPLES CROTCHES BUT REALLY SIRIUS, CAN'T YOU RESIST
Laurel says:
YES IT IS DIFFERENT WHEN I DO IT!
Laurel says:
WE ARE NOT OF RELATIONS.
Laurel says:
EXCEPT FOR THE SEXUAL KIND, WHICH I HOPE TO BE... OF.

Christin says:
THIS TENSE DISAGREEMENT IS ALL YOUR FAULT I'M SURE SIRIUS!
Laurel says:
WHY ARE YOU HERE ARGUING WITH ME WHEN WE SHOULD BE COMFORTING REGULUS?
Christin says:
AND BY WE I MEAN ME, YOU REALLY SHOULD GO AWAY

Laurel says:
PERHAPS HE WILL FIND MY COCK AS SOOTHING AS I BELIEVE IT TO BE

Christin says:
THAT BARTY FELLOW LOOKS MOST PUT OUT
Laurel says:
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD GO COMFORT HIM
Christin says:
PERHAPS HE WOULD FIND YOUR COCK SOOTHING TOO AS HE IS NOT RELATED TO IT
Laurel says:
YOU SHOULD GIVE IT A TRY
Laurel says:
RIGHT NOW
Christin says:
PLEASE PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MOANING BEHIND THE CURTAIN
Laurel says:
IT IS ONLY I, LAMENTING THAT YOUR BROTHER SHOULD EVER FEEL UNHAPPY

Laurel says:
WHERE IS HIS COOKIE CAKE? YOU KNOW DOGS SHOULD NOT EAT CHOCOLATE!
Christin says:
YOU CANNOT EVEN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, HOW CAN YOU BE TRUSTED WITH REGULUS?
Laurel says:
THAT CAKE WAS FOR HIM! HE MUST NOT FEEL A VERY SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE IF HE HAS NOT SEEN THE RED ICING I TOOK SUCH GREAT CARE TO USE!
Christin says:
HONESTLY SIRIUS, PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE A TIME OUT AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE
Laurel says:
I MADE THAT ICING MYSELF, WITH FOOD DYE
Laurel says:
IT TOOK MOST OF THE BOTTLE TO NOT LOOK PINK
Laurel says:
NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH PINK
Christin says:
I DON'T CARE IF IT LOOKS GIRLY, IT MATCHES MY SKIN TONE

Laurel says:
HE HAS RECENTLY BEEN DEFLOWERED, HE DESERVES A SPECIAL CAKE!
Laurel says:
HE IS A PRECIOUS SNOWFLAKE!
Christin says:
SO THERE WILL BE NO CANDLES, I PROMISED NOT TO MELT HIM
Christin says:
AND I COULDN'T FIND THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER ANYWAY

Laurel says:
IT IS OF GREAT IMPORT THAT WE DO NOT CAUSE HIM TO FEEL UNEASE ABOUT HIS LESSER AGE
Laurel says:
HE IS QUITE A MAN NOW
Christin says:
WHY YES I HAVE NOTICED.
Laurel says:
HE HAS FILLED OUT MOST BECOMINGLY
Christin says:
YOU WOULD LOOK QUITE NICE YOURSELF IF YOU TOOK THE CARE THAT HE DOES. ALAS.


Christin says:
(FOURSOME)
Laurel says:
omg no barty foursome, he does not deserve it
Laurel says:
HE IS REPREHENSIBLE!
Laurel says:
UNWORTHY OF INCLUSION!
Laurel says:
HE WOULD DAMAGE REGULUS'S SNOWFLAKE MOST SEVERELY, HAD HE THE CHANCE!
Laurel says:
I TRUST HIM NOT!
Laurel says:
HE IS SHIFT OF EYE!
Christin says:
HE'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU I SUPPOSE
Christin says:
OH DO NOT GIVE ME THAT LOOK, I DO NOT TRUST YOU EITHER

Laurel says:
YOU ARE LESS DELICATE THAN YOUR BROTHER
Laurel says:
YOU COULD DOMINATE HIM EASILY
Christin says:
HE LOOKS LIKE A WITHERING PANSY ANYWAY, HE IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR MY REGULUS
Laurel says:
HE IS IN NEED OF AN ALPHA MALE!
Christin says:
OF WHICH I MOST CERTAINLY AM
Christin says:
DO NOT ROLL YOUR EYES AT MY GRAMMAR, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
Laurel says:
YOU WOULD BE MORE CONFIDENT OF MY ALPHA STATUS HAD YOU ONLY LET ME TOP!
Christin says:
BUT NOW YOU SHALL NEVER KNOW.
Christin says:
I SHALL BE MOST FAITHFUL AND TRUE

Laurel says:
I BELIEVE NOT THAT YOUR BROTHER FELL FOR SUCH TRICKERY!
Laurel says:
IT WAS A BLUFF FOR WHICH HE FELL! HE IS NO ORIGINAL PRANKSTER!
Christin says:
YOU HAVE HURT HIS FEELINGS SIRIUS
Christin says:
YES YOU, NOT I

Laurel says:
HAVE YOU LISTENED NOT TO MY WARNINGS OF HIS DELICACY?
Laurel says:
I BLAME MYSELF; I AM A BRUTE AND A SCOUNDREL FOR WISHING A THREESOME TO BE DELIGHTFUL
Laurel says:
I MERELY WANTED TO TAP THAT
Laurel says:
LIKE A SYRUP TREE
Laurel says:
I AM A CRUEL BEAST. YET I CANNOT BLAME THE WOLF.
Laurel says:
NEVER MIND, THIS IS TOTALLY YOUR FAULT!
Laurel says:
WHAT WERE YOU EVEN PLANNING TO DO WITH HIM IN THERE?
Christin says:
HE MUST BE ADMINISTERED TO GENTLY
Christin says:
AND WITH GREAT PASSION

Laurel says:
IT IS MY GUESS YOU DID NOT EVEN HAVE PROPER HIS AND HIS KY PERSONAL LUBRICANT FOR HIS COMFORT. YOU ARE SUCH A CRUDE YOUNG MAN, I HYPOTHESIZE YOU MERELY GRABBED A BOTTLE OF OLIVE OIL.
Christin says:
HE IS A WINE TO BE SIPPED, NOT GLUGGED LIKE SOME DRUNKEN LOT

Christin says:
(we are.... parodying ourselves)
Laurel says:
(totally)

Christin says:
OH GO STICK IT IN BARTY, SIRIUS
Laurel says:
OR PERHAPS SOME CRUDE MUGGLE WITH A BEASTLY NATURE
Laurel says:
IT IS NOT MY PLACE TO SAY WHO WOULD WANT TO MAKE THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS WITH YOU. YET I AM CONFIDENT REGULUS MUST DISCOVER LOVE-MAKING IN BEDROOM INTIMACIES.
Laurel says:
AND PERHAPS ALSO BATHS, THOUGH YOURS IS OF INSUFFICIENT SIZE
Laurel says:
NO THAT WAS NOT A COMMENT ABOUT YOUR MANHOOD
Christin says:
I DO NOT MAKE SUCH CRUDE JOKES AS YOU

The Twilight version.
Tags: conversations, harry potter, twilight
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 3 comments